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Passive Aggressive Lunch Notes

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I feel like I’m sending all you lovely readers off on a fantastic voyage with my friend Lotta Svoboda at the helm. I can tell you that you’re going to have a great trip, but you really might want to buckle your seatbelt and brace yourself against the frame of your car…

In this first installment of Crafting with Lotta, she teaches you the fine art of writing notes to your precious wee ones, and in future episodes, well, I don’t have words. Let’s just say that she’s just getting warmed up, and you might want to get your glue gun all heated up, dial ‘9-1’ and hover over that final ‘1’.

Are there projects you just have to learn to do? Leave Lotta notes in the comments, and she just might come to your rescue. And be sure to check out her hilarious blog and fantastic button jewelry as well.

Dear Reader,

When my sister and I were young our mom would occasionally slip little notes into our lunch boxes. She wrote them onto paper napkins with dark magic markers. And they were a magnificent blend of passive aggressive, 70’s parenting lingo and pure love. “Try not to use your stink’n think’n!” or “We love you even if you only sit with one person at lunch today.”

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My sister and I were appropriately mortified when we found these gems. And yet our magic marker stained lips would still smile knowing that our mom took the time to connect with us. If you want your children to feel equal parts loved and confused, then this is the craft project for you.

Passive Aggressive Lunch Notes.

Step 1. Pull out a sheet of pretty paper. A little sugar helps the medicine go down you know. So raid your stash of overpriced scrapbooking supplies.

Step 2: Open up your word processing program and select a handwritten font.

Step 3: If you know how to make tables, then good for you! If not – just hit the enter key a few times after each love note. Start typing! Chances are you’ve got a whole collection of sweet nothings ready to roll. But if you need some inspiration, here are a few ditties to get you started;

I think the ham might be bad. Let me know how it goes.
Love Mom

I am the only woman that will ever love you.
Love Mom

I packed your favorite chocolate cake! By the way, do we need to go shopping? I noticed your pants were a little tight.
Love Mom

You are my favorite. Shhh.
Love Mom

Hint: If you don’t put a comma between Love and Mom then you get extra passive aggressive bonus points.

Step 4: Print out your words of wisdom. Use some of those fancy edging scissors to cut the notes out. Then place in a pretty basket near your lunch making station. (i.e. by the peanut butter).

It’s ok if you only think of a few things to write. Getting the same note over and over again only reinforces the love. But if you’re really stuck remember that anything with quotations around it is immediately rendered passive aggressive. For example; You look so “pretty” today!

Love Lotta

Darling Dioramas

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Dear Reader,

When I was in the third grade we were asked to create a diorama that represented a climate, or geographical setting of some kind. The tropics, perhaps a frozen tundra or a mountainous region. Honestly, I wasn’t paying all that much attention. I had just started reading A Long Winter by Laura Ingalls Wilder and there wasn’t anything more riveting to me than reading about Laura and her Pa having to grind up wheat in the coffee mill. Or Ma Ingalls making ice cream out of some snow and maple syrup. Really, these people were geniuses.

The day before the project was due I decided that I would make a Desert scene. Tents, sheiks and the whole shebang. I would use whatever I had on hand – just like the Ingalls. I took out a rusty cookie sheet and filled it with scoops of sand from our sandbox. [Read more…]

Garden Gifts For Boozehounds

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Happy day, happy day! My friend Lotta is back at Try Handmade. Last year she wrote the Crafting with Lotta column, and now she’s back with the equally inspired Gift Guides column. Lest you think this is just another yawn-inspiring “Gift for Her” “Gifts for Him” column, just read on. And laugh. And learn to Love Lotta like I do :) Welcome Back Lotta – so glad to have you here! ::Erika

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Is there anything better than sitting in your backyard and admiring the day’s hard work? You’ve weeded, you’ve planted, you’ve given the large majority of your paycheck to the garden center and now it’s time to enjoy. Scrub the dirt and mulch splinters from underneath your fingernails, take a long hot shower and pour yourself a glass of something medicinal to ease your aching muscles. Do you hear those ice cubes tinkling around in your glass? Bring it up to your ear and listen because that’s the sound of applause for a job well done my friend.

May I offer a few product recommendations to help capture this perfect post gardening, all cleaned up with a drink in hand bliss? Perhaps these Hummingbird Feeders by DeeLux Designs? They are made from upcycled Jose Cuervo and Captain Jack Morgan bottles. It’s as if you are generously inviting the birds to partake in your post-gardening celebration with you.

And don’t grab just any old glass to pour your drink into. You deserve something special, something that says “Sure my recycler bin might crash and clink more than yours on garbage day. But did you see the water feature I just installed in the back beds? Sweet right?” Like these reclaimed Red Stripe Beer bottles that have been smoothed into super classy tumblers by Bottlehood.

One mistake I’ve made as a gardener is forgetting to water the window boxes and deck plants. The flowers in the ground can usually weather a few days neglect, but those container gardens dry up mighty quick. I suggest purchasing a pack of Wine Bottle Plant Nannies to make your own watering stakes out of discarded Merlot bottles.

Lastly, I am always a fan of a good vintage boozeholder. Decant your margaritas into this vintage modern polka dotted beverage holder from HydrangeaRow. And drop your scotch into this retro plaid “Skotch Party Bucket” from TheClassicFarmhouse.

Cheers,
Lotta

Gift Guide For Love Seekers

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My sister recently reentered the dating world and I found myself vicariously reliving her first kiss, first love, first embrace moments. And then I remembered the other firsts. The first fight, first awkward moment and the first heartbreak and realized I’m quite content to be her armchair guide to love. Her backseat romance driver.

And so I’ve compiled the best dating and marriage advice I can find via a selection of handmade gifts to give. Perhaps you have a friend or family member poised on the diving board and ready to plunge into the sometimes icy, sometimes refreshing dating pool too?

The best advice I could possible give anyone heading into potential coupledom is “You Must Be Present To Win”. Be your best self and get out there and try! The man or woman you are going to pair socks with for life isn’t going to walk into your living room. (Cable television doesn’t count.) Lulubug Jewelry (featured here and here) has cast that sentiment into a fine silver necklace on a drawn cable chain.

Sometimes the best counsel has been around for years, as is the case with Kurt Vonnegut (one of my favorite authors) and his quote, “There’s only one rule that I know of babies – God damn it you’ve got to be kind.” Captured by Ragamuffin Press on scrumptiously thick paper. Be kind to those you meet, date, and most of all to yourself.

MetalandMud has captured essential advice on simple, upcycled, white plates. The one I would share with my single friends is “Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves.” Let yourself flounder, grasp and stumble in the dark while you look for love. And when you find your mate you’ll see that you also found yourself a bit along the way.

And when you are ready to commit to your love, consider these wedding invitations created in the form of a vintage train ticket by LetterBoxInk. Because my dear, it’s going to be a ride. A beautiful, bumpy, roller coaster of a ride. Buy your ticket, climb aboard, hang on tight and enjoy.

Love,
Lotta

Modern Lutheran Jello

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Dear Reader,

I’m a Lutheran, and when people ask what kind of Lutheran I usually respond “The Wisconsin kind.” And if they won’t let up I just start singing the Yon Yonson song till they go away.

My name is Yon Yonson
I live in Wisconsin
I work in a lumber mill there.
All the people I meet
when I walk down the street
say “Hello, what’s your name?” and I say:
My name is Yon Yonson
I live in Wisconsin…
(repeat and repeat and repeat)

I really have no idea what synod or sect or cult of Lutheran my family is. I just know that we tend to drink lots of coffee and there are usually at least two kinds of Jell-O at church gatherings. And that we secretly envy the fact that Catholics get to have hard liquor at their family get togethers.
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